Michael Vick Can't Leave the House

ahahahaaaaaaaaaaa

A urine sample submitted by Michael Vick has tested positive for marijuana, and as a result he'll have tighter restrictions on his freedom.

The test was taken on Sept. 13. Because of the positive test, federal court probation officer Patricia Locket-Ross, who is assigned to Vick, asked Judge Henry Hudson to place special conditions on Vick's release, which include refraining from use or unlawful possession of a narcotic drug or other controlled substance.

Also, Vick must submit to any method of testing at any time.

Methods of testing could include urine testing, the wearing of a "sweat patch," a remote alcohol testing system and/or any form of prohibited substance screening or testing.

Vick must also participate in a program of inpatient or outpatient substance therapy and mental health counseling if the pretrial services officer or supervising officer deem it appropriate.

Vick is also now restricted to his residence every day from 10 p.m. to 6 a.m. or as directed by the pretrial services officer. The home confinement will include electronic monitoring.

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THE PATRIOTS ARE DEFINITELY CHEATERS AND THE NFL IS COVERING FOR THEM! Dammit all to hell, I love football. Guess I need to find a new sport. The Dolphins really stink this year so maybe its not the worst thing in the world.