Perhaps I'm just getting a hang of the thing, perhaps other crap has been going on...perhaps eh, I dont wanna share my brain with you, eh?
Therefore, some updates
-Finally warm here. Got a sunburn this weekend.
-Have been temping steadily and don't miss working in medical offices one drop.
-Getting back into the sketch comedy game; show scheduled for May 21st here in NYC. Details forthcoming...
-Still pissed about the Va. Tech "loner with a gun". No - loners live in cabins in the woods and shoot squirrels for food, not live on a 28,000 student campus with a roommate. He didn't "fall through the cracks" either. His parents "prayed for God to help him" instead of taking him to a psychiatrist or - how's this - yanking his ass from school the day he got declared not competent by a court. If I tried to kill myself when I was away at college my father would have been there in Star Trek beam down time to bring me home until things stabilized. This is a case of criminal parental neglect, plain and simple. They didn't give their child the help they needed, instead, they cowered in the corner of Christianity. Enough. RIP to those whose lives he cut short.
-RIP to Harriet, Jonathan's grandmother. She passed in her sleep after a long illness. She had no greater happiness than the happiness of her family and for that, we are grateful. As Jon said, "Siege and Harriet are finally reunited....drinking martinis....Judy and Lloyd are doing the cooking."
-RIP to abortion rights. This letter to today's NYTIMES sums it up:
To the Editor:
Re “A Sharp Turn for the Supreme Court on Abortion” (letters, April 20):
I am a rheumatologist caring for a patient whose lupus nephritis is flaring. Her creatinine is rising as her platelet count falls, and she has failed to improve with pulse methylprednisolone and intravenous cyclophosphamide. I am contemplating using rituximab. I would like to refer this case to the United States Supreme Court for its guidance.
Richard Zweig, M.D.
Santa Rosa, Calif., April 20, 2007
MAZEL TOV!
-Oh, and as for "living green"...use less toilet paper, take shorter showers, yeah yeah....Rik and I did a quick inventory of hte things we ALWAYS do to conserve, and frankly, we're doing pretty well. We always unplug appliances when we aren't using them, use power strips for our plugs, have new windows in the apt, wash everything but our sheets and towels in cold water, dont own cars, use public transportation, use corn-based cat litter that is flushable, we try whenever possible to eat meat and produce from local sources/organic, recycle our cans and glass, and we dont drink water from plastic bottles. We're going to splurge on some non-toxic cleaning products in the next few weeks; Shaklee has a good deal going on their website; its $50 to get a "starter kit" that is supposed to last 6 months. So no crap from anyone about me not being environmentally friendly. Not that that's ever happened, but you never know. If we all do one small thing it will make a difference. Maybe; but if the bees disappear we have 5 years, I'll say F-it and take up coal mining.
4.24.2007
3.29.2007
PART II: The Race
lets begin with the good stuff...the race itself! A short video can be seen here, complete with roaring sound. For true effect turn your speakers to 11. (not recommended, as it can't compare to really being there)
Its about 90 miles from Knoxville to Bristol so we started the morning off right at Waffle House...mmmmm...grits and eggs and bacon and waffles....
The drive was traffic ridden and would stop and start randomly, for no good reason - then again an extra 100,000 folks on the road will do that. Itts right in the heart of the Smoky Mountains and along the way we passed the birthplace of Davy Crockett, the exit to Dollywood, and a ton of those heinously self-righteous "Message from God" billboards, cars with "W 04" stickers, and the very rare Confederate flag - something I didnt expect to see so little of. This month's MOJO magazine CD got us through most of the trip - thanks Iggy Pop for picking such great songs the Mothers of Invention, Trashmen, Bo Diddley, MC5, etc) that Dad and I could actually sing along to.
More in a bit.....
Its about 90 miles from Knoxville to Bristol so we started the morning off right at Waffle House...mmmmm...grits and eggs and bacon and waffles....
The drive was traffic ridden and would stop and start randomly, for no good reason - then again an extra 100,000 folks on the road will do that. Itts right in the heart of the Smoky Mountains and along the way we passed the birthplace of Davy Crockett, the exit to Dollywood, and a ton of those heinously self-righteous "Message from God" billboards, cars with "W 04" stickers, and the very rare Confederate flag - something I didnt expect to see so little of. This month's MOJO magazine CD got us through most of the trip - thanks Iggy Pop for picking such great songs the Mothers of Invention, Trashmen, Bo Diddley, MC5, etc) that Dad and I could actually sing along to.
More in a bit.....
3.26.2007
Bristol Boogity Boogity
Spent the past 36 hours in Knoxville/Bristol Tennessee for the Food City 500, AKA a Very Loud NASCAR Race with 160,000 other sweaty rednecks, such as myself.
My flight was the Newark to Knoxville Express. Surprisingly, a popular flight (full both ways).
The story starts at home in Astoria. The check in time for the flight was 3:15pm for a 4pm departure. Fine. I can do this. I leave home at 12:35, am on a moving N train by 1245, and I arrive at Penn Station just about 1:15pm.
I walk over to the PATH terminal, where I am surprised to find Absolutely No Signage pointing the correct way to the Newark airport.
After asking about ten befuddled New Jerseyites, one finally pipes up and tells me to take this line to Journal Square, then to transfer to Newark line, then to hit the air train from there. Fine and dandy.
I wait 15 mintues for a PATH train to even show up. Then an announcement comes over the PA.
"Due to Track work all Journal Square bound trains terminate at 9th street. Transfer at 9th Street for a Journal Square bound train."
I momentarily contemplate hopping a cab to Port Authority and grabbing a bus, but I figure I'm already there and once I transfer, all will be well.
Jesus, if only.
As the train pulls into Penn Station and the lemmings pile on, the man who gave me directions before then says -- "Oh, and this train goes to Hoboken, then to Journal Square."
Wha-- HOBOKEN? What the flip - "Trackwork" he says, "They do this on the weekends."
GREAT. THANKS FOR POSTING FUCKING SIGNS.
So now Im on a death car to 9th street, where we all pile out, and then another PACKED car takes 10 minutes to empty, then we all PILE IN again and head to HOBOKEN, where we proceed to sit in the station for 10 minutes.
Its now 1:45 pm. I'm only one stop into Jersey and things are not looking promising.
The thing about the Newark-Knoxville flight is that there's only ONE departure a day. So if I miss this, I miss the trip entirely.
Finally we get to Journal Square. Its 2:00. We walk across the platform to the Newark bound train and proceed to wait another 15 minutes for a Newark bound train. I feel like Jack Bauer for a split second as I hear the BLIP - BLIP! BLIP - BLIP! of the 24 theme song in my head...
Things are looking worse. Im panicky. Not good.
At 2:16 the train pulls in. I jump on. Two stops later, boom, Newark. Time is 2:25.
Exit the train, run down the stairs, ask someone IN A NEW JERSEY TRANSIT UNIFORM "Where is the Airtrain?", only to recieve a vacant stare.
I run down 2 more flights of stairs and am in...a food court.
No signs saying TO AIRPORT, TO BUSES, nothing. Just an Information booth wtih ONE sad looking person working there and ONE PERSON ahead of me in line who is complaining that he doesnt want to take a bus to Secaucus and why cant he just take the train and why is it so expensive and Im a senior citizen and what is the discoutn rate AND JESUS CHRIST IM ABOUT TO MISS MY FLIPPING FLIGHT TO THE CAR RACE YOU ASSHAT GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY SO I CAN GET SOME INFORMATION!!
I mull my options. I have no idea where the airport is, or how to get there from here, or how long its going to take. The terminal I'm in is apparently IN Newark, but where is beyond me.
I RUN to a ticket counter that says NEW JERSEY TRANSIT; I cut in front of two people in line and frantically hand the attendant a $20 and scream
I NEED TO GET TO THE NEWARK AIRPORT NOW !! HOW DO I DO THAT?!
He gives me a ticket and tells me to run up the stairs, the train may already have left.
ALREADY HAVE LEFT!?
Shit. The departure time on the ticket is 2:32. I look at the clock. Its 2:31.
When is the next train, I ask?
"3:14", he says calmly.
I run like I've never run before up 4 flights of stairs and am greeted to an arriving Amtrak train.
I scream at the conductor IS THIS THE TRAIN TO NEWARK AIRPORT?! Confused, he says yes, I get on, the train pulls out, I go exactly 3 miles on this Amtrak, and then am told to exit here for the Air Train to the airport.
I run off the Amtrak at 2:39, run down 3 more flights of stairs, and run onto the Air train, which may as well be called the Air Snail Train as a child on roller skates goes faster, and get to the terminal I'm departing from.
I clear security quickly, considering the line. (And FYI, YELLING at people to take their fucking Ziploc bags of travel sized goo out does not do much to aid flyer calm, TSA at Newark Airport)
I check the departure gate...here it is...Newark to Knoxville...gate 125.
Of course, gate 125 is at the ASS end of the terminal.
I check my watch. 3:12 pm.
I run, run, run.
I get to the gate, breathless. The time is exactly 3:16pm.
And the flight is delayed.
NEXT TIME, PART II : How did a Red State like Tennessee ever elect Al Gore?
PART I: Escape from New Jersey
My flight was the Newark to Knoxville Express. Surprisingly, a popular flight (full both ways).
The story starts at home in Astoria. The check in time for the flight was 3:15pm for a 4pm departure. Fine. I can do this. I leave home at 12:35, am on a moving N train by 1245, and I arrive at Penn Station just about 1:15pm.
I walk over to the PATH terminal, where I am surprised to find Absolutely No Signage pointing the correct way to the Newark airport.
After asking about ten befuddled New Jerseyites, one finally pipes up and tells me to take this line to Journal Square, then to transfer to Newark line, then to hit the air train from there. Fine and dandy.
I wait 15 mintues for a PATH train to even show up. Then an announcement comes over the PA.
"Due to Track work all Journal Square bound trains terminate at 9th street. Transfer at 9th Street for a Journal Square bound train."
I momentarily contemplate hopping a cab to Port Authority and grabbing a bus, but I figure I'm already there and once I transfer, all will be well.
Jesus, if only.
As the train pulls into Penn Station and the lemmings pile on, the man who gave me directions before then says -- "Oh, and this train goes to Hoboken, then to Journal Square."
Wha-- HOBOKEN? What the flip - "Trackwork" he says, "They do this on the weekends."
GREAT. THANKS FOR POSTING FUCKING SIGNS.
So now Im on a death car to 9th street, where we all pile out, and then another PACKED car takes 10 minutes to empty, then we all PILE IN again and head to HOBOKEN, where we proceed to sit in the station for 10 minutes.
Its now 1:45 pm. I'm only one stop into Jersey and things are not looking promising.
The thing about the Newark-Knoxville flight is that there's only ONE departure a day. So if I miss this, I miss the trip entirely.
Finally we get to Journal Square. Its 2:00. We walk across the platform to the Newark bound train and proceed to wait another 15 minutes for a Newark bound train. I feel like Jack Bauer for a split second as I hear the BLIP - BLIP! BLIP - BLIP! of the 24 theme song in my head...
Things are looking worse. Im panicky. Not good.
At 2:16 the train pulls in. I jump on. Two stops later, boom, Newark. Time is 2:25.
Exit the train, run down the stairs, ask someone IN A NEW JERSEY TRANSIT UNIFORM "Where is the Airtrain?", only to recieve a vacant stare.
I run down 2 more flights of stairs and am in...a food court.
No signs saying TO AIRPORT, TO BUSES, nothing. Just an Information booth wtih ONE sad looking person working there and ONE PERSON ahead of me in line who is complaining that he doesnt want to take a bus to Secaucus and why cant he just take the train and why is it so expensive and Im a senior citizen and what is the discoutn rate AND JESUS CHRIST IM ABOUT TO MISS MY FLIPPING FLIGHT TO THE CAR RACE YOU ASSHAT GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY SO I CAN GET SOME INFORMATION!!
I mull my options. I have no idea where the airport is, or how to get there from here, or how long its going to take. The terminal I'm in is apparently IN Newark, but where is beyond me.
I RUN to a ticket counter that says NEW JERSEY TRANSIT; I cut in front of two people in line and frantically hand the attendant a $20 and scream
I NEED TO GET TO THE NEWARK AIRPORT NOW !! HOW DO I DO THAT?!
He gives me a ticket and tells me to run up the stairs, the train may already have left.
ALREADY HAVE LEFT!?
Shit. The departure time on the ticket is 2:32. I look at the clock. Its 2:31.
When is the next train, I ask?
"3:14", he says calmly.
I run like I've never run before up 4 flights of stairs and am greeted to an arriving Amtrak train.
I scream at the conductor IS THIS THE TRAIN TO NEWARK AIRPORT?! Confused, he says yes, I get on, the train pulls out, I go exactly 3 miles on this Amtrak, and then am told to exit here for the Air Train to the airport.
I run off the Amtrak at 2:39, run down 3 more flights of stairs, and run onto the Air train, which may as well be called the Air Snail Train as a child on roller skates goes faster, and get to the terminal I'm departing from.
I clear security quickly, considering the line. (And FYI, YELLING at people to take their fucking Ziploc bags of travel sized goo out does not do much to aid flyer calm, TSA at Newark Airport)
I check the departure gate...here it is...Newark to Knoxville...gate 125.
Of course, gate 125 is at the ASS end of the terminal.
I check my watch. 3:12 pm.
I run, run, run.
I get to the gate, breathless. The time is exactly 3:16pm.
And the flight is delayed.
NEXT TIME, PART II : How did a Red State like Tennessee ever elect Al Gore?
3.13.2007
Leni, you ignorant slut
http://www.newyorker.com/arts/critics/books/2007/03/19/070319crbo_books_thurman
if only Aykroyd uttered that to her and not Jane. Alas, two books on Leni are out, and the conclusions them same: slut for the nazis.
if only Aykroyd uttered that to her and not Jane. Alas, two books on Leni are out, and the conclusions them same: slut for the nazis.
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